This song is very special to me and I want to take a moment to explain how it came to be. I have a dear friend that I have known for over 25 yrs and who has been super supportive of my music and me personally. Her, her husband, and their four kids were neighbours of mine. Their two sons would skateboard with me on the street and on my backyard ramp. This couple are 20 years older than I am, so they were much further ahead of in life than I was.

As I raised my family, I was inspired by the way they raised theirs. I would always talk with them, swap stories, ask questions about raising children, and help them out just as they would help me. They were always so kind, caring, and fun. They were great role models and friends, right across the street.

After about 15 years, they moved out of the neighbourhood into their dream home about 10 mins away. We still talked regularly, but I missed them living so close.

About 7 years ago, while together on their 40th anniversary vacation, her loving husband tragically lost his life. She was devastated. In an instant, the love of her life was absent from hers. His retirement was only a few short years away and they had every thing planned out, ready to enjoy their growing family and their time together. The absence of his presence was impossible to ignore.

Shortly after this, I had my own personal trauma. Being the amazing woman she is, she listened to my pain while still going through her own. Our wounds were as open as our hearts, and our pain as deep as our friendship.

As I was healing, I wrote a lot of very emotional and sad songs. One day, she said to me, “I want you to write a happy song.” That stuck with me. It would be nice to write a happy song for my friend. A song that would help her the way she had helped me. But I had no idea where to start.

Shortly after, I had a dream. That dream was not visual. It was lyrical and musical. I woke up and grabbed the guitar from beside my bed and instantly wrote out what I heard in my dream. That was “If Ever”.

A song that was from the point of view of some one who left before their time and was letting the one they loved how much they loved them and it was ok to heal and move on.

I instantly loved this song. It was so different than anything I had written before. It felt as if it was from another generation or era. Looking at it, I knew the song wasn’t for me, it was for her. Seeing as it was so weighted with emotions, would she find it happy or hurtful?

The only way was to show her. So, nervously I invited her over to hear it. Before performing it, I explained how the song came to me. Then I handed her a printout of the lyrics and sang it.

She was almost in a trance; focused on that printout and every word I sang. As soon as I was done she looked at me and said, “Those are his words! This is from him”. She felt this was a message through from him, through me, to her. That explained to me why it came to me the way it did. We both cried and hugged each other. It was magical.

This was the most amazing experience I have ever had with music.

Without her knowing, I immediately went into the studio to record it. As a surprise, two months later on Christmas Day, I sent it to her in an email saying it was a gift from her husband.